Bert Hellinger talks a lot about in a family of thieves the one who doesn’t steal feels guilty.
Our biggest human need is to belong so people watch tv and do what others do. They live in a world of mediocrity. At a dinner table with the majority of the human family the beliefs are mostly:
Do what you’re told
Don’t create your own path
It’s evil to have money
Don’t claim you’re good at anything
Never shine too bright
Because if you do it makes everyone uncomfortable.
At this table everyone’s maintaining identity coherence which is really important for human beings, especially when you feel like you’re not enough.
When we start to make changes in our lives, declare what we’re really here for, make money and put ourselves out there, we start to move to a different dinner table where there are other leaders who don’t play mediocrity.
Our “friends” say we’ve really changed and that all we care about is making a difference with our mission, and tell us to take time off to find balance. This is a time where it’s slightly scary and there is anxiety about whether we made the right choice.
This is when it’s really important to reach out to other leaders.
During this transition you can’t necessarily see the other table yet but it’s literally on its way. This period can be a day or it could be months or years. The faster you can move from your old table to a new table where those leaders hold you accountable to a higher bar, this is when your life starts to shift.
Most people go backwards during that time. Let’s call it the twilight zone of change because what’s familiar is comfortable and the brain more than anything likes to feel comfortable. So the temptation to go back to mediocrity is strong.
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