Do you have a fear of failure?
I invite you to consider that the detection for a fear of failure is a fear of success.
Bert Hellinger, a German psychotherapist said that in a family of thieves the one who doesn’t steal feels guilty. In a family of bankruptcy, in a family of not quite enough, the one who gets successful feels guilty.
What you’re actually bumping up against are your ecosystems because you’re afraid of leaving the ecosystem. As humans our biggest need is to belong, so what would happen if I was to ask you “Do you want to make ten million dollars this year?”
If you were to go to your dinner table and you’re worth 10 million dollars you’re not sure if you belong anymore because you’re successful. You have the life you want. So what your system does potentially is play mediocrity and when there’s an opportunity in front of you, you’ll just make sure you don’t do it in order to maintain homeostasis with the identity of having not quite enough.
If you’d like to break that pattern it’s going to feel very uncomfortable because you’re going against your identity in the fabric of your entire family system. Yet the thing is, you cannot belong any more or any less to your family – no matter what you do.
So many of you are on the defense because you’re terrified of not losing everything you have but getting everything you want, because at the dinner table at an unconscious level you’re not sure if you belong to that family anymore.
So, if you’re from a family that just gets by or it’s not quite the right time, then you’re potentially sitting in your chair and not going after the life you want because you’re actually afraid of losing rapport with your mom or dad.
And here’s the news for you …
No matter how much you suffer, or how much money you lose, or how much actual pain you experience, it will never ever save your mom or dad.
We’re running unconscious patterns to save our mommies and daddies.
Take care,
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