We all dread conflict. We stay as far as we possibly can from it. The reason that we probably dislike it so much is the fact that it often leads to confrontations. When confrontations begin, things would tend to turn ugly. But then, conflict is inescapable. It comes in different forms and sizes, but it’s there. And if we can’t get rid of it, we might as well deal with it.
But because we’ve been trying so hard to avoid conflict, a lot of us don’t know how to handle it properly. So here are a few factors to consider that would help guide you in dealing with conflict correctly:
Communication – proper communication is the lifeblood of a good relationship. At the same time, it is also a good and effective remedy for conflict. More often than not, conflict arises from a lack of proper communication. So it only makes sense that to correct it, we reach out to the other party through proper communication. You listen to each other and take turns expressing each other’s sentiment, and together think of a solution that is agreeable to both parties.
Ego – this is one of the biggest and most common causes of the beginning of conflict. We should admit that there are times when we let pride and ego get in the way of our dealings. What we may not realize is that, in the process, we hurt or offend certain people. This would turn to conflict and if left unattended, may ultimately lead to broken relationships and bigger conflicts. We should never let our ego and pride take over. Once we’ve done something wrong to someone, we should admit it. Once we’re wrong about something, we should be humble and accept corrections and better ideas. This is the only way for us to learn and grow.
Apology – we are all susceptible to making mistakes. It is all part of being human, screwing up and making bad decisions every now and then. And that’s ok, as long as we take what we can learn from those experiences and try our best not to do them again. But then, we could never avoid the casualties. While we were screwing up, we might not be aware that there are people along the way that we’ve also screwed over. The only thing we can do is to apologize to these people and do our best to learn from our mistakes.
Forgiveness – if we should learn to apologize, we should also learn how to forgive. All our lives are interconnected. And at some point, someone may have done you wrong and screwed you over. What you should do is find it within yourself to forgive them and work on building a new and better relationship with them from here on out.
Like other things, conflict is inevitable. So we shouldn’t be cowering away and missing out on vital life experiences on the extent on avoiding conflict. Instead, we should learn how to deal with it and face it, because we can.
by: Jeffrey Slayter